Books that should be movies

by Movie Editor Courtney Bowerman

At the moment, there are no upcoming movies that I want to see because all Hollywood seems to be churning out are more sequels and remakes. The ones that actually are original don’t seem very appealing (did anyone actually see the movies that were nominated for the Best Picture Oscar—aside from Brokeback Mountain?) Are there no creative writers left in the world?

It’s baffling why the film industry wastes time with remaking The Omen or making another sequel to Scary Movie when there are many perfectly good story ideas that can be found in a book. I go to Barnes and Noble or any other bookstore almost once I week, and I have found several books that haven’t even been considered to make into a motion picture. Here is a list of some stories that would surely get some attention at the box-office, along with an (arguably) ideal cast for the main characters:

The Odyssey by Homer: There have a ton of movies based on Greek mythology. Some examples include Jason and the Argonauts, Troy, not to mention numerous versions of Hercules. So far, The Odyssey has only been made into a made-for-television movie back in 1997. It wasn’t bad, but why not bring it to the silver screen? Not only is it a classic, it’s also the ultimate adventure story! Although I thought Sean Bean was pretty good as Odysseus in Troy, I would cast Ewan McGregor to play him in the Odyssey, because he’s already had experience playing the wise, experienced warrior. Rachel Weisz (Evelyn from The Mummy) would make an excellent Penelope, and Telemachus could be played by either Hayden Christensen or James Franco (from Spider-man and Tristan & Isolde). If I had to choose, I’d pick Franco because he’s a little more adapted to playing the vengeful, hot-headed son.

Shabanu and/or Haveli by Suzanne Fisher-Staples: These books are about the trials and tribulations of Shabanu, a Pakistani girl who is forced to leave her desert home to marry a landowner who is old enough to be her grandfather. Years later, she falls in love with her husband’s nephew. I think it would be possible to combine both novels into one film. I had trouble picturing which actors could play certain parts, but I definitely think Q’Orianka Kilcher (the girl who played Pocahontas in The New World) would be perfect as Shabanu, since a married woman is roughly the age of a teenager in Pakistan. Disturbing, yes, but at least it’s accurate.

Wolf Moon by Charles de Lint: An interesting twist to the werewolf tale. Kern is a shape-changer, or someone that can both control when he becomes a wolf and what he does as a wolf. However, Kern has to keep his ability from his new girlfriend and friends when an evil hunter tracks him down. I always pictured Rupert Grint (Ron from Harry Potter) as Kern, and Emma Watson (Hermione) could play his girlfriend, since they have such good chemistry together. They’d have to be at least twenty when filming this movie though. The hunter could be played by James Franco (from Spiderman and Tristan & Isolde).

Island of the Blue Dolphins by Scott O’Dell: An Indian girl is left stranded on her native island by her tribe. This is another role I think Q’Orianka Kilcher could play.

Bone by Jeff Smith: This is actually a graphic novel. While not widely known, it has developed a large following. Often described as “Bugs Bunny meets Lord of the Rings,” it tells the tale of the three Bone cousins, who find themselves lost in a valley full of humans, dragons, and rat creatures. Before they can find their way home, they have to help an elderly queen and her powerful granddaughter stop the Lord of the Locusts from taking over the world. Sadly, plans to make an animated feature were scrapped. However, it’s never too late to give it a second try! Natalie Portman could do the voice for the princess. As for the Bone cousins, if you can suggest any actors that could voice a kindhearted bookworm, a scheming money-grubber, and/or a happy-go-lucky imbecile, let me know, because the voices I always imagined for them don’t match any celebrities I’m familiar with.

Goose Chase by Patrice Kindl: Here’s another story that could be turned into an animated movie. A goose girl named Alexandra starts to regret the gift of beauty bestowed by her “fairy godmother” as she tries to avoid being married off to a seemingly idiot prince and an evil king. It’s basically a dozen fractured fairy tales rolled into one, so I think Dreamworks would be better suited for it than Disney. The potential cast of voices could be William Dafoe as the king, Alexis Bledel (Rory from Gilmore Girls) as Alexandra, and Tobey Maguire—or someone who sounds equally awkward—could play the prince.

Marrying Mozart by Stephanie Cowell: Anyone that loved Little Women and Pride and Prejudice would love this story. It’s based on actual events in Mozart’s life, particularly his relationship with the four Weber sisters, one of whom he would marry. Keira Knightley could play Aloysia Weber—who is ironically the one Mozart doesn’t end up with, while the one that Mozart marries (read the book if you want to find out) could be played by Narnia star Anna Popplewell. Since I’m an avid fan of the film Amadeus, I can’t picture Mozart being played by anyone who isn’t Tom Hulce. Seeing as how he’s too old to play him anymore, I’m open to suggestions.

Will any of these fantastic stories ever be on the big screen? At this rate, probably not. However, the fact that there is a movie planned for the novel, The Kite Runner, gives the possibility hope. In the meantime, check out some of these books at any of your local bookstores, libraries, or just order them off the Internet. Maybe you can come up with your own imaginary cast!