Have a slutty Halloween

by Rachel Wilkerson

New York Times readers may have wondered whether they had mistakenly picked up a copy of Hookers Monthly the other day when the "gray lady" ran racy photos such as this one for their article on how Halloween isn't for good girls anymore. Trick or treat? Click here for more

Each year before Halloween at MSU, some unattractive staff writer for The State News authors an article about how Halloween is just an excuse for girls to put on revealing costumes.

It’s common knowledge that planning a Halloween costume in college for a female really involves going back to basics: one simply takes the costume she wore as a child and add the adjective “slutty” or “naughty” in front of it. The costumes are generally simple: nurse, firefighter, police officer, devil, angel.

Many opponents to the slutty Halloween costume complain they lack any creativity and are just about showing off one’s body, but the thousands of MSU women who will walk the streets this weekend in impossibly high heels and painfully short skirts argue that it’s their body and the one night of the year to do what they want.

“I think every girl deep down wants to dress like a slut once in a while. It’s kind of a good feeling to get attention,” said Rachel Good, 20. The accounting major was a slutty Snow White last year and is planning to dress like a slutty Viking this year.

In a recent New York Times packaged on “Slut-o-Ween,” one expert, Deborah Tolman, director of the Center for Research on Gender and Sexuality at San Francisco State University said the trend of revealing, uncreative costumes isn’t all bad.

 "It is possible some women are using Halloween as a 'safe space,' a time to play with sexuality,” Tolman told the Times.

According to Tolman, these costumes "make fun of this bill of goods that's being sold to them. Hey, if we can claim Halloween as a safe space to question these images being sold to us, I think that's a great idea.”

But trashy costumes do present problems, physically and emotionally. Girls feel pressured to look sexy, while men are encouraged to be creative and funny. And a short, tight costume can be hard to keep in good form while party-hopping.

“There is the problem of maintenance while intoxicated,” Julia Lyskawa, 19, said. The communication and sociology major worries that she might accidentally expose herself if she has too many drinks while in costume. “Here’s the thing; it wouldn’t be so bad if everyone stayed in the form they were in when they got ready. But then you get drunk and people start to struggle and body parts are flashed…”

 This problem is often thwarted by wearing hot pants under the short skirt to prevent any mishaps while still giving the illusion of easy access.

 Spartan men appreciate the trend.

 “I like it,” Kevin Spern said.

The packaging major and sixth-year senior said, “It's MSU so the girls know they got it--they might at well flaunt it.”

“The more the merrier,” Brian Cottrell, a communication sophomore said in reference to the wanton costumes. “They’re fun, but you can go too far sometimes. You can look at some girls and think, wow, you’re a freshman, you’re going to get taken advantage of tonight. Leave at least a little something to the imagination.”

Carly, 19, a hospitality business major, pointed out that opponents of trashy costumes are generally low on the attractiveness scale.

“Why the hell should hot girls with hot bodies be labeled sluts and whores for using their sexuality to their advantage?  There's always one or two ugly girls going on some rant in the name of feminism, talking shit about girls like me who enjoy dressing up and getting male attention,” Carly said.

“God forbid I get bought a drink or asked to dance.  According to these chicks, the only reason for either of those events is because I'm some sort of prostitute.  Well, let's be honest, people:  the girls against the objectification and degradation of women are simply the women who couldn't get a guy to objectify or degrade them if they had beer-flavored nipples.”

MSU alumna "M" breaks the costume trend down.

 “I once read that a Halloween costume should be one of two things: funny or impressive,” she said. “It's hard out there for Funny; even guys that skip a midterm perfecting the tin foil on their mammography machines barely get a laugh these days. Funny's fine, but most attractive women aren't funny. Impressive implies creative, but this is only for guys that already look like the precise doppelganger of Richie Tenenbaum or Ali G.”

She also explained the popularity of the slutty costume.

“Luckily, attractive college girls have a special loophole with Impressive, and this is why ugly girls should stop complaining about a garter belt and stockings completing half a sororities' collective costumes.”

The MSU alumna dressed as various Madonnas—the pop icon, not the religious one—during her college years. She hasn’t chosen a costume for this year yet, but has tossed around ideas like “sexy zookeeper” and “sexy beekeeper.”

“To go for Impressive, college girls should stick to the archetypes: sexy nurse, sexy exchange student or any variant of the "slutty X" or "X Barbie" formula and then strive to improve upon it only with enhanced—that is, impressive--sluttiness. It must be as ridiculously slutty and skimpy as possible: garters, fishnets, create-your-own obscene hemline, push-up bra, the works,” Morgan said.

For those who argue that naughty Halloween costumes lack creativity, take the case of junior accounting major Kelly Spern—younger sister of packaging supersenior Kevin--who was able to combine promiscuity and ingenuity last Halloween when she dressed as “Third Base.”

“My costume consisted of a baseball tee that barely covered my ass, a pair of boy-cut mesh underwear, fishnet stockings, black stilettos and a very bright Victoria’s Secret push-up bra. On the back it said, ‘You give me mine, I’ll give you yours,’” Kelly, 20, said.

The costume garnered a lot of attention.

“I had people wondering what I was, and once I explained it to them, they were infatuated with me, ” she said.

This year, Kelly is planning to dress provocatively again, this time with her boyfriend.

 “We’re going to do the couples thing, but trashy,” she said. As for the girls who protest slutty costumes, she says, “One word: fugly.”