BEST OF THE BEST:
Halloween Candy
by
Erica Fifelski
Ghouls, ghosts, and witches, oh my! What better
to calm the fears of
children(and college students) at this bloodcurdling time of year than
excessive amounts of sugar? Before you head out into the streets cloaked
and
caped in various costumes, review Halloween's most important aspect:
the
candy.
The Candy Corn
The classic Halloween favorite of your youth lives on in those bands
of
white, orange and yellow corns of sugary goodness. With origins in the
1800’s, this candy’s recipe of sugar, corn syrup and honey
(and a dose
of Carnauba wax) has remained unchanged, and for a good reason. They
offer
the happy medium of a chewy and soft mixed with that ever desirable “melts
in your mouth” effect. Sometimes, it’s hard to limit one’s
intake of
these addicting kernel-like confectionaries, however, exceeding the
suggested serving size (24 pieces) could induce a sugar
coma.
Since no one wants to miss out on trick-or-treating this year, practice
careful consuming.
The Halloween Iced Suckers
Everyone loves a sucker, not to mention when “sucker” means
glucose
syrup on a stick. What could be better or more festive than a pumpkin
pop?
Remember when your mom told you, “Don't run with that sucker in
your
mouth!” The same rules apply this season but now it’s, “You’re
wearing your big sister’s witch costume, and it’s too long
for you so
don’t trip on it and don’t run with that sucker in your
mouth!” While
suckers come in many shapes and flavors, it’s obvious to lovers
of this
supernatural holiday that suckers with a pumpkin or goon’s face
just taste
better.
The Gross, Body Part Candy
Did you ever want to eat an eye? A finger? Someone’s brain perhaps?
Halloween makes those detestable dreams come true. Pick up a variety
pack of
extremities or just go right for the gummy scabs or teeth. Whichever
body
system you chose, the only one who will be sorry is the person with
a
missing appendage.
The “Fun” Size Candy Bars
Halloween is about candy, costumes and pranks, all of which merit their
own
category of fun. I am here to tell you, there is nothing fun about “Fun
Size Candy Bars.” Yielders of the multi-pack Butterfingers/ Snickers/
Milky Way must not have children or have never seen the falling look
in a child’s eye after they drop a puny 3 oz. individually wrapped
mini bar
into a trick-or-treat bag. So we ask you, where’s the love stingy
candy
passer-outers and where’s the sugar?!
Proceed diving into plastic pumpkins filled with enough sugar to coat
your
stomach lining with caution. Every year, real warlocks poison candy
in an
effort to hurt poor princesses and pirates. Sometimes, the candy reveals
hidden razor blades or needles. Check out your booty before you start
to
chew.
