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TRAIN WRECK TV Wife Swap delivers as promised Wife Swap by Katie Luscombe
There used to be a time, long ago, in the age of our forefathers, when television was only for the beautiful and glamorous. It was a time where every American family ached to be as perfect as the squeaky-clean families they saw on the television every night. And then God said, “Let there be Wife Swap.” And it was good. Let’s face it. Normal people do not go on reality TV. These are people who have nothing better to do with their lives than to exploit themselves for a little greed-driven media exposure and a hefty jingle in their change pocket. Not only does Wife Swap feature abnormal families, they are the top of the crop, Grade A psychos. These are the best non-normal families Fox could find. Think about the bad singers they always show on the American Idol auditions -- same principle applies. Wife Swap operates on the premise that fireworks will occur when two families trade moms for two weeks. To their surprise, they are often trading with people who are drastically different, so far on the opposite side of the strange scale that problems always occur. The championship boxer comes to live with a competitive eater. A good Christian mom lives with punk rockers and begins to suspect that Satan himself resides there. For the first week, the new mom has to follow all of the house rules. Sometimes this means doing all the family chores, but sometimes it means sleeping on the couch in the living room at night while your kids sleep in sleeping bags on the floor, because gosh darn, that’s how this family does it! During the second week, the new mom decides what the rules are and the rest of the family must comply. This is where they get REALLY pissed off and somehow forget about all that fame and fortune they originally were so excited about. How DARE someone tell their kids they can’t play soccer for seven hours per day! On Wife Swap, the families like to pretend that, despite their crazy outward appearance, they are just “normal” families -- who happen to enjoy keeping jars of dead frogs around the house and a coffin in the living room. Really, the only thing that is ever normal is the token teen of the family who is in complete confusion about his or her identity. Maybe the young person desperately wants to fit in at school, but the family will only let her dress in all pirate gear instead of the cheerleader she wants to be. Usually, the new moms let the kids do something they have always wanted to do. One boy was allowed to actually sleep in his room at night with the door unlocked. Another sixteen year old girl was allowed to go out with her friends WITHOUT A PARENT PRESENT. Oh, the horror! One of the best parts of the show is when the parents sit down at the end for a little conference. They either start crying, screaming or get into shouting matches. (Or they sheepishly agree with the fact that they are treating their children like soldiers when they make them run laps for hours every day.) If you ever thought you had bad parents, check out Wife Swap. You will be thanking your lucky stars that your parents most likely did not make you go through anything like these kids.
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