Will a cookie persuade you to live on campus?

by Diane Ivey

A box of chocolates means "I love you."

A pint of Ben & Jerry's "Chunky Monkey" ice cream means "I've just been dumped."

And a low-carb, lettuce-wrapped burger means "I am trying to have it both ways and failing miserably."

Food has always been a way to communicate. Anyone who's ever done a group presentation knows that if you give people food, they're bound to listen better - or at the very least, like you more because you brought brownies.

However, food has recently assumed a more insidious, persuasive tone.

As I was pondering my dessert choices in the Yakeley cafeteria, I was assaulted by a very unique form of advertisement: a sugar cookie.

This particular cookie was frosted a lovely shade of Spartan green (always appetizing) and iced across it in big white letters were the words "Live On!" It just sat there, boldly proclaiming said slogan, on a platter of like-branded cookies, next to the hapless and agenda-free gummy worms.

Now as a journalism major, I can appreciate good publicity when I see it.

But on a cookie?

University Housing launched the "Live On" campaign last year, hoping to persuade students to continue living in the dorms, instead of moving off campus. According to University Housing’s Web site, an estimated 44% of MSU students already live on campus.

The mission of "Live On" is much like that of a presidential candidate: conquer the undecided voters.

Unsettlingly though, what once started out as a way to inform students about their options has now become a full-fledged advertising crusade.

It began with table tents, helpfully informing students that if we continue to live in the dorms, we will not have to do hideous, demeaning tasks like buying our own toilet paper or changing light bulbs. Then, on exam week, we received "Live On" Smarties and a good luck sticker from University Housing.

But with the Fall 2006 Housing Rush upon us, University Housing's campaign has escalated to full swing, involving posters with creepy pseudo-Uncle Sam wannabes proclaiming "we want you," as well as more food-based bribery. There is even a "Live On" song, signing the praises of free linen services, high speed Internet and camaraderie in the halls.

Free candy and songs and colorful posters are all very nice, but are they really going to change anyone's mind?

While I appreciate University Housing’s enthusiasm about 12x15 foot squares located right on top of the train tracks (and I admit that free stuff is great), it’s time to tone it down a little bit and realize that students are going to make their own choices about where to live, with or without a catchy theme song.

First of all, the "Live On" campaign does not provide objective information. Instead of sharing a comparison of on-campus housing to apartments, it attacks off-campus abodes like a sleazy politician in a smear campaign.

A day or so after the infamous cookie incident, I noticed a sign in my bathroom whose basic message was, "if you move off campus, you might die."

Gee, you think so?

Because tomorrow I might get run over by a CATA bus on my way back home to Campbell Hall.

I have just as much a chance of dying on campus as off, so don’t even try to convince me to “live on” by dangling my mortality in front of me. Another thing, college students are very independent. Some of us are free to make our own choices for the very first time. We don’t want someone breathing down our necks about staying on campus so someone can baby-sit us some more.

If anything, all the intense messages about “living on” may have the reverse effect, sending many students on a frantic search for that one last apartment lease.

Last, but certainly not least, doesn’t the University already have a problem with crowding? With Snyder-Phillips closed for renovation next year and many students already forced into transitional rooms at the beginning of the year, couldn’t we use fewer people?

A new crop of freshmen and transfer students next year would more than make up for any undergrads who move off campus.

I appreciate University Housing trying to sell me another year on campus, but when they start putting their ads on my dessert, a girl has got to take a stand.

If MSU needs the money so bad, how about cutting the “Live On” budget instead?

Or at the very least, keep your opinions off my pastry.