CLOCK KILLERS:
Surviving bad classes when paying attention just isn't an option

by Nathan Harris (with contributors Amy Crandall, Steve Daniels, Lauren Kearns, Kyle Lake, Amanda Peterka, Elissa Peterson and Pamela Wall)

It happens. Sometimes whatever class you're sitting in is the worst class in the world.  The professor has all the liveliness of a cadaver, and you couldn't pay attention if a unicycling clown was juggling fire at the front of the room. My job is not to condemn you, but to provide some options. There are worlds of time-wasting activities out there, more than any one person could come up with. Here are just a few, and if you want to thank someone, thank every student who is serious about inattentiveness. 

1. "Asking the profesor pointless/off topic questions to annoy, harass and confuse them"
2. "Braiding your hair"
3. "Bring a banana to class…" and "…call each other on the banana phone"
4. "Check the time on your cell phone a lot"
5. "Count the people sleeping"
6. "Listening to your iPod if you're sneaky"
7. "Look around the classroom and give people nicknames based solely on their appearance"
8. "Make origami/paper airplanes"
9. "Make useless lists of stuff you have to do…"
10. "Paint your nails"
11. "Pick hairs off the person in front of you…"
12. Create a new word: This takes some effort, and the cooperation of some classmates. After agreeing on a word, for example, "empirism," you must slowly introduce it to the instructor through in class discussion, essay responses and assignments. You are successful when the teacher uses your word.
13. Doodle
14. Hangman
15. MASH: Yes, it's exactly what you're thinking. The game that predicted your future down to the type of house you would live in has as much appeal now as it did in seventh grade science class.
16. Professor Bingo: Make up a bingo card with the professors quirks, eccentricities and regular comments written in the squares. Mark these as they occur in class. You win by being the first to complete a row, column or diagonal.
17. Sleep
18. Stick as many pencils as possible in the ceiling tiles
19. Talk about how soon the professor is going to die (for elderly/feeble teachers)
20. The Ceiling Slap Game: This is only possible in a classroom with low ceilings. You score points by jumping up from your seat (and on to the table or desk if necessary) and smacking the ceiling without being seen by the teacher. The most points wins.
21. The dot game: Fill a page with dots in rows and columns. Each player takes turns connecting a pair of dots. If a player completes a square, he or she wins a point and another turn. The highest number of points wins
22. Think about fantasy football
23. Tic-tac-toe
24. Txting: No "e" dropped. You know you never spell it out
25. Unzip your backpack as quietly at possible and get out something to eat
26. Work on other homework

 
 

Here's the game. Come up with some system for choosing one of these during your next boring class. Use the date, find one that starts with the same letter as your name, pick the number of times you have done a double-take at the clock because you were sure it was moving backwards. Then, stick with it and move through as many of these 26 timewasters as possible. It's better than the alternative. 

 

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