10 things I hate about Facebook

by James Andersen

James looks thoughtful on his Facebook page

Every day people log onto the Internet and make a beeline for Facebook.com, eager to catch up on new postings on their walls and new messages from their friends. Like coffee, Facebook has quickly made thousands of users addicted to its charms.

Nowadays it seems like everyone from students to professors to political candidates have Facebook pages. With all of its features, one might wonder what’s not to like about Facebook. After all, on Facebook you can keep in touch with people, post hilarious pictures of yourself, reunite with long lost friends, join groups with whom you share a common interest or stalk people if you feel so daring.

I have a Facebook page, the same as most everyone else I know. I enjoy some of its features and I like the fact that I can keep in touch with friends a lot easier than I ever could through email.

For all its glory though, there are plenty of reasons to absolutely despise Facebook. Sure it’s a great networking tool, but it has its annoyances. Here are ten reasons why I hate* Facebook.

1. Names-My number one annoyance with people on Facebook. By names, I mean those people who put a phrase in the middle of their name i.e. Joe imsuchabadass Smith. I read these and roll my eyes at the outlandish things people write. Nobody needs to put a phrase in their name to up their cool factor. Everyday I see names of Facebook users and the phrases get longer and more ridiculous. It’s stupid and childish. The only exception should be if you use your middle name. You have a real name, use it!

2. Stupid groups: Probably the second biggest thing I hate about Facebook, this allows anyone to create a group about anything, and I mean anything. Want to create a group to find everyone with everyone who shares your name? Want to create your own personal fan club? Go ahead. Remember that summer camp you went to in 5th grade? Chances are there’s a group for that too. People create groups that are so utterly ridiculous; one has to wonder why exactly they were created. What is the point of creating a group that 10 people will join? Something could also be said for those who continually invite their friends to join groups they have no interest in. This is why I constantly reject most group invitations.  

3. Notes: The feature that turned Facebook into a blogging site, users are free to post whatever is on their mind and tag it for their friends to read. While this seems like a good premise, it has quickly turned into one of the most annoying features of the site. With chain-notes going around, people now post notes asking what their first memories of you are and tag all their friends. What exactly then is the point of the memory books that so many high school seniors buy for this sort of thing? Another thing to despise about the note feature is the notes where someone who was a complete idiot in high school writes something and everyone who responds thinks it’s so deep and full of meaning. To date I haven’t written a single note. This feature sort of eliminates the point of having something like a Livejournal.

4. Newsfeed: Last fall, scores of Facebook users were appalled to find a new feature on Facebook that told everyone they knew exactly what they did on Facebook; every profile edit, every group they joined, etc. Because of this, thousands of users wrote letters and started petitions to repeal the Newsfeed. But still the Newsfeed remains, letting all of your friends know your every move. Why would I want to know what my friend writes to other people on a daily basis? I don’t care too much about what groups they join or what ludicrous thing their status says their doing at that moment.

5. Acronyms: LOL. ROTFLMAO. SMH. Instead of taking the time to actually write out whole sentences anymore, people resort to turning everything into a simple acronym that anyone can remember. In this information age, it’s a lot easier to write this way and people understand it, but it’s overused way too much. I mean every other word on a wall post is LOL, like a meaningless filler word. I bet half the time users aren’t actually laughing out loud so why would they write it? It’s like they have nothing better to write, so it’s used as a pause.

6. Photos: This is another feature of Facebook that is too overused by everyone. As soon as a picture is taken, moments later it is posted in an album on someone’s profile. It’s almost as if people take pictures solely for the purpose of putting them on their profiles. I’ve noticed that there seems to be little variation in the photos they post; it’s the same photos every time just in a different location. I don’t feel the need to post every single photo of myself. That tagging feature is strange as well because sometimes people tag their friends in photos that their friend really isn’t in. Case point: on my profile someone tagged me in a photo of the cast of Accepted. I’ll concede, though, that sometimes it’s funny when a friend tags an embarrassing photo of you.

7. MySpace-Facebook: With its continual addition of features to Facebook i.e. Notes, Shares, and Newsfeed, it seems as though Facebook is trying to become more and more like MySpace, adding features which are strikingly similar. Add music to Facebook and you’ve got two websites that are basically the same thing. It’s weird how Facebook keeps adding random stuff into profiles too such as political and religious views. Is blood type next?  

8. Relationships: Instead of letting the masses of Facebook know that they are actually involved with someone, users pretend to be married or in a complicated relationship with their best friend. Okay, we get it, you love your best friend so much that you’re “engaged” to them; it’s a good laugh for like two seconds. List your real relationship status or nothing at all. On that note, what exactly does it mean to be looking for random play?

9. Shares- Users can now turn their Facebook page into a newsfeed by posting YouTube videos or posting news articles and the like. I don’t really see the point.

10. Poking- Again, what exactly is the point? Even the creators of Facebook state that they don’t know what the point of poking is.

So there you have it; ten reasons to loathe Facebook. Despite these things, I will continue to be a faithful Facebook user and who knows, maybe in time I will come to enjoy these things I so now despise.

*Keep in mind that hate is used loosely; it’s more like annoys the hell out of me.