WRITTEN UP: Tips to pre-gaming

by Lisa Emak

Take our simple test: How many martinis do you see? (See answer below)

I remember it like yesterday…sitting amongst all the other wee little freshman the first Friday at Michigan State, meeting the RAs and listening to the whole spiel about being safe when going out---never putting your drink down, staying in groups when walking to parties, and of course, not drinking in the dorms. I thought to myself, “Who the hell would drink in their room when they could just go to a party and get as much beer as they want…for five bucks!”  
 
Wow. I was such a naïve little freshman. At that time I had no idea that part of the whole going out experience is the “pre-drinking” phase. You know, showing up at the door of the party already a little tipsy, so breaking the ice or searching for the guy selling the cups all night weren’t issues.  

Drinking in the dorms isn’t really a good idea, but it’s never really stopped me until I got written up for the third time this year. Taking shots while lounging on the futon in the comfort of your own room or taking back a few beers while surfing facebook before heading out are really tempting--and tend to happen a lot.  You can get you written up if you’re not smart about how you drink in your room. 
 
However, not everyone is familiar with the pregaming rituals that some live by or the actual “writing up” process.  
 
Although punishments for getting written up do vary from dorm to dorm, the procedure is pretty standard all over campus. Part of what RAs have to do is to make sure that nothing illegal is going down on their floor. Their way of guarding against this, is “doing rounds”--walking around every night from about 9pm-2am, making sure that no one is causing problems, that the outside doors are locked, and most importantly that no illegal activities are taking place in the rooms, like drinking.  
 
If someone is caught drinking, the RAs will ask for student ID for everyone that’s in the room and your name will appear in a report that the RAs write up the following day for the Resident Director. The report will describe in detail everything that they observed and their take on the situation. From there, the people involved will be individually called down to see the Resident Director and given the chance to explain what happened and get their appropriate punishment for violating MSU policy of drinking in the dorms underage.  
 
What varies from dorm to dorm is the punishment; it’s pretty much up to the Resident Director’s discretion to decide what is appropriate. They can range anywhere from going on rounds with the RAs for a night to get a feel for what it’s like to going to Judicial Affairs and facing probation or even expulsion. 
 
Take it from (sadly), the self proclaimed veteran, getting written up really does suck. It’s a stupid, ridiculous process that is just a waste of time and not worth it. Since I’ve been shunned, I feel like it’s my duty to alert other amateur dorm drinkers who just need a little advice or just a laugh: 
 
1. Don’t let your room be a revolving door. A trained eye can take just a quick look and spot all the alcohol lying around.
2. Don’t blast “Thunderstruck.” Yes, it’s a drinking song, and yes, RAs know that. (Yes, they party, too.) 
3. Load up. Mix all your drinks first then stash the alcohol so it’s tucked away safely and out of sight of anyone. 
4. Know the times when the RAs go on your floor doing rounds and try to avoid them at all costs.    

Answer to test: This is one martini viewed through the eyes of someone who has had too much. If you gave any other answer, hide from your RA.