No, I’m Not a Model…I Just Give a Damn, You Insecure Bitch

Rachel Wilkerson

At MSU, there is a general negative attitude toward those who go to class wearing something other than jeans and a hoodie “Are You a Model? No, You’re Just an Idiot Who Got Dressed Up to Go to Class” is one of my least favorite Facebook groups of all time, right up there with “Our State is a Hand” and “_____ Lost her Phone and Needs All Your Numbers.”

I don’t understand this vehement distaste for people who choose to present themselves well in lecture. Maybe it’s because I’ve attended private schools my entire life and have always been forced to wear some form of a uniform.

Until college, I didn’t have the option of going to class in jeans or a T-shirt. (Except on days that were pre-designated “Jean Days” and the best days of a Catholic schoolgirl’s life. These days often required one to donate to a specific charity in order to wear the forbidden item of clothing. I find that fucked up.)

For me, it’s partially a respect issue. If I am going to pay someone with a PhD to present me with information, I’ll not wear my pajamas. It’s also a psychological issue: I feel I perform better and take class more seriously when I’m dressed better.

It’s also a fashion issue, obviously.

I am a student; class is where I spend most of my time. If I don’t get dressed on class days, when can I get dressed? Where else is there to show off new outfits? Sure, at weekend parties you can debut your highest heels and most outrageous tops, but there are so many trends great for every day. They should be shared with the world, not relegated to days off. 

But those who choose to do this are persecuted. It’s seen as a sign of being a freshman, as if taking pride in your appearance is synonymous with a desperation to make friends, masking a deep homesickness and inability to resist a lame frat’s graffiti party. It’s seen as snobbery, as vanity. It is assumed if you look put together in class, it’s because you spent hours showering, blowing out your hair, doing your make-up and trying on different outfit combinations. You probably have a rotating closet and computer software system a la Cher in “Clueless” in your dorm.

To those who judge people who look down on “dressing up” and ask, “Why?” I would answer… “Why not?” There’s no shame in having style if you’re doing it for yourself.  But I’ll be damned if I hear one more girl publicly, proudly declare that she is only in college to meet a husband, and then tell a girl sitting next to her who is happily single and wearing a trend that she’s “trying too hard.” 

Because here is a secret, from the girl who sits behind you in a “trendy” outfit to you in your MSU hoodie: it’s not that hard.

Despite the fact that we Spartans live in a cold climate, walk to class, have limited access to great shopping and want to be comfortable because we’re probably hungover and have pulled an all-nighter...it’s not that hard.

Looking pulled together for class is just as simple as switching your comfy traditional fallbacks for a few trendy pieces. The difference between days when people say, “Where are you off to?” with a curious look at your cute outfit and the days when people say, “What did you do last night?” with a sympathetic look at your wrinkled T-shirt and flannel pants is not that hard.

Jeans, sneakers, hoodie…these are all relative terms. It’s all about stretching the boundaries of those items a bit. Girls often say they want to improve their wardrobes and look more put-together when they go to class. And it’s just so simple, really.

If jeans are your everyday basic, swap whatever you’ve been wearing for skinny jeans. I know it sounds intimidating to put on a style whose very name implies you must have a certain body type, but really, most everyone can wear skinny jeans. Fuller figured? Buy a “straight leg,” not “skinny.” Worried about your tummy? Pair them with a slightly longer top. But don’t be fashion prejudiced. Try them on. The funny thing about skinny jeans is they aren’t really even considered trendy anymore—they are just a wardrobe basic. Yet wearing them still implies some sort of fashion worldliness, so why not?

If you always wear your high school track sweatshirt, replace it with a hooded sweater and a pashmina. It’s just as cozy and snuggly and hides your PMS bloating just as well, yet you look like you’re about to aboard a return flight from Paris, not the CATA bus.

If you always wear cotton shorts (i.e. cheerleading shorts), wear a dress. Cool and cotton, you can show off your little booty and you don’t even have to pick out a shirt! 

If you can’t give up your black dance pants, switch them for black leggings. Admittedly, this is an item that would be on the “out” list in a fashion capital, but you’re still OK here. (I mean, drive three minutes off campus and there are cows grazing.) They are comfy and stretchy and black, but the tapered ankle gives people the impression you just had lunch with Anna Wintour. 

If leggings are over for you (totally understandable), replace them with tights. I find tights way more comfortable and 100 times more stylish.

If you walk to class in beat-up Adidas running shoes, replace them with old-school looking trainers like Nikes or Pumas, or any color Converse All-Stars.

If you walk to class in flip-flops, replace them with flats. In a classic color, you look great. In a fun print, everyone around you will think you have a front-row seat at Fashion Week. 

If you cover a bad hair day with a Detroit Tigers hat, you could cover it with a military cap. It’s cotton. It has a brim. But it cares.

If you stay warm with a black North Face, stay warm with a black leather bomber jacket. $180 for a fleece or $180 for leather…that makes you look like a badass fashionista. Tough call.

If your winter boots are Uggs, realize there are other winter boots out there. It’s hard to admit this at Michigan State. We might need to start a support group. But comfortable, flat boots in a variety of colors do exist. And they actually stand up to salt-coated sidewalks for less than the cost of a monthly car payment.

If your mani/pedi is usually pink…make it black. Or red. Or navy. Or Vamp.

A Few More Easy Trades:
You do wear Crocs. You could wear slip-ons.
You do wear gauchos. You could wear high-waisted, wide-leg jeans.
You do keep your bangs off your face with a black spandex headband. You could keep your bangs off your face with a printed satin scarf.

It’s easy to be intimidated by fashion, but you aren’t going to turn into some weird, self-obsessed Olsen clone if you stash your hoodie and start wearing more runway-inspired looks.

Above all, confidence is key. If you walk to class wearing sunglasses the size of dinner plates and high-waisted jeans, you must be prepared to defend your style choices to any shit-talker who is so intimidated by your look that they try and cut you down. It’s OK to remind them that while we all believe in being comfortable in class, you aren’t going to apologize for defining jeans and a T-shirt as something other than a shirt you got running a 5K in high school and a pair of Faded Glory carpenters.

Wardrobe Basics That Are Not That Hard and are Totally Accessible

Sweater: Gap.com
Converse: Zappos.com
Boots and flats: Urban Outfitters
Dress: Forever 21
Hat and scarf: Target
Slip-ons: Vans, from Journey’s