Top 8 Things I Wish Gay Men Would Leave in the Closet
(I tried for 10, but let’s be honest--we do dress pretty well.)

Jordan Barnes

1. The Armani Exchange. I may be a traitor to my people and the thing is that I actually really love Armani. But real Armani. The exchange is a poor excuse for a clothing store geared straight at gay men. It’s trashy. It’s gross. Leave it alone.

2. Your D&G T. I know their ads give you a boner and you want to give something back to the company for that momentary pleasure, but a $30 white T-shirt says more about your lack of style than anything. And did you really pay $30 for it, or did you get it off the clearance rack?

3. Abercrombie Polos  No Moose. Crocodile.

4. Faux Chanel Sunglasses. Let’s not try and dress like sorority girls--next thing you know we’ll have to have six pairs of black leggings. Real Chanel is fine, but Ray Bans are way cuter.

5. Belly Button Ring. That’s just nasty

6. Neon Tank Tops. This isn’t 1985 and you’re not Richard Simmons.

7. Pink. We get it. You’re gay. Pink can be done tastefully and correctly through pink socks or a light pink shirt with a suit, but leave the pink polo to the frat boys.

8. Briefs, Bikinis, etc. Boxers and boxer briefs are way sexier--think Marky Mark in his Calvin Klein days. Or even sexier yet, pull a Britney/Paris/Lindsay and go commando.