MSU got a special look at "Observe and Report" in an advance screening at Wells Hall.

We’ve all seen the security guards wandering the mall, occasionally lecturing people when they do something wrong, sometimes even threatening to call the cops. Imagine instead that those mall cops were fully willing to pick up your skateboard and beat you over the head with it, just for skateboarding on mall property. That pretty much sums up Ronnie Barnhardt, the head of security for Forest Ridge Mall, played by Seth Rogen in “Observe and Report.” Unfortunately Barnhardt, like this movie—written and directed by Jody Hill—is a little washed up. 

Barnhardt is a man with simple pleasures in life. He likes his morning coffee and demolishing targets on the mall shooting range—yes, they have their own shooting range—in Clint Eastwood fashion, bringing out a magnum to do the job. However, when a flasher strikes at the mall, running up to women in the parking lot and showing off, he gets down to business and sets out to hunt the criminal alongside his rather inept team of security. The movie also follows his attempts to win the heart of “the hottest girl in the mall,” Brandi (Anna Faris). However, when the flasher strikes again and reveals himself to Brandi, the real cops are called in to investigate the situation, in the form of the flirtatious Detective Harrison (Ray Liotta). Barnhardt and Harrison become fast rivals, as both struggle to find the flasher before the other. 

Suffice to say, “Observe and Report” is definitely over the top. If mall cops – or anyone, for that matter – really attempted half the things they did in this movie they’d be behind bars for a long, long time. Then again, who goes into a Rogen movie expecting realism? It’s a comedy done in his flamboyantly characteristic style. Unfortunately, it’s no “Superbad” or even “Pineapple Express.” Those movies are much better samples of his comic ability than “Observe and Report.” 

The comedy is all rather crass and open-minded—you won’t have to read between the lines to get the laughs out of this movie; they take their humor and slap you in the face with it. I recall a particularly disturbing sex scene, and a make-out session beforehand that sees Ronnie grinding his face into Brandi’s just seconds after she’s thrown up all over her lawn. The movie’s blunt—it says what it is from the very beginning, with no attempts to hide it or pretty it up. If you like Rogen’s style, then it’s a fact you’ll probably love, regardless of what I have to say. If not, this movie may leave you beating your head against a wall. 

At least it isn’t “Paul Blart: Mall Cop,” though. Be thankful for small favors. 

Still, it’s not a movie for the squeamish or the prudish. Hill tries to take comedy to the edge. You’re going to see nudity, and not of the usual feminine persuasion. You will see a fat, old, naked man scrambling through a mall with Rogen bouncing at his heels. Flesh ripples and the old man’s “little friend” makes a constant, bouncing appearance, with no attempt to hide it. Just a heads-up. 

If the movie has one message, it’s probably to expect the unexpected. It’s not a story for moral lessons—if it was, we should all be terrified. The only potentially “good” character in the whole film was Nell (Collette Wolfe), a food court employee that takes a liking to Ronnie and accepts him for everything that he is. Given everything that implies, that’s saying a lot. She’s the innocent factor in the film, but we’re led to spend most of our time just feeling sorry for her. 

But it wasn’t all bad. The movie starts off genuinely funny—you get hope—but it’s just one of those movies that can’t sustain itself. As time goes on, the jokes grow tired as the situations grow more outlandish and it starts to feel like something we’ve all seen before. It’s fortunate they kept it to just under an hour and a half, though—even if you end up hating it, at least you won’t feel like you’ve lost that much time to it. 

Suffice to say, it had its shining moments, but overall, while Rogen and the others tried their best, the concept and the sub-par script just weren’t the best things they could’ve been given to work with. 

Wait until this one comes out on video. Netflix it. Give yourself something to do on a rainy day, but don’t shell out the money to see it in theaters. You’d kick yourself for it later. Be sure to watch it with friends, too. It’s one of those that just wouldn’t be as funny alone. 

Rating: 1.5 out of 4 Stars